Syndrom mrtvého koně

11. října 2005 v 22:38 | Petr Šnajdr |  Management
Syndrom mrtvého koně je jistý druh slepoty, která může postihnout stejně tak webdesignera jako vrcholového manažera. Léčit ho je krajně obtížné a nekdy až nemožné. Poprvé jsme na něj narazil v jeho anglofonní podobě při jedné z lekcí z projektového managementu.
Fotografie Tomáš Hruš: "Mrtvý kůň" z cesty na Pamír
(http://www.kmp.vslib.cz/lide/hrus/index.php
)

Vše začíná moudrostí pradávných předků, kteří aby přežili, museli přemýšlet prostým a efektivním způsobem. A tak indiánský kmen Dakotů má prý jedno hezké přísloví:

Když zjistíš, že jedeš na mrtvém koni, sesedni!

V reálném životě a zejména tom profesním, lidé volí i další strategie. Například tyto:
  1. říkáme: Vždyť ten kůň vždycky jezdil�"
  2. založíme pracovní skupinu pro analýzu koně
  3. zapřáhneme několik mrtvých koní k sobě, aby se jim společně lépe táhlo
  4. navštívíme jiná místa, abychom se podívali, jak se tam jezdí na mrtvých koních
  5. obstaráme si větší bič
  6. vyměníme jezdce
  7. zvýšíme standard kvality pro jízdu na mrtvém koni
  8. vytvoříme výbor pro oživení mrtvého koně
  9. vypracujeme srovnávací přehledy různě mrtvých koní
  10. upravíme kritéria, podle kterých se určuje, zda je kůň mrtvý
  11. zaplatíme externí specialisty, aby jezdili na mrtvém koni
  12. prohlásíme, že žádný kůň nemůže být natolik mrtvý, aby se na něm ještě nedalo jezdit
  13. vypracujeme studii, abychom zjistili, zda pro tento problém existují levnější poradci
  14. zakoupíme něco, po čem bude mrtvý kůň běžet rychleji
  15. nasedneme na svého starého slabého osla a zamaskujeme ho mrtvým koněm
  16. nařídíme přesčasy a nosíme mrtvého koně sami
  17. restrukturalizujeme stáj
  18. zdvojnásobíme příděly krmení
  19. prohlásíme, že mrtvý kůň byl už od samého počátku naším cílem
  20. povýšíme jezdce
  21. budeme zapírat, že jsme kdy nějakého koně vůbec měli
  22. sedneme si a budeme čekat, až se kůň sám zvedne�
  23. dáme mrtvému koni řídíci funkci
Boj proti mrtvým koňům je náročným sportem, který si může vyžádat poměrně značně energie. Zatím nejzásadněji se s mrtvými koňmi vypořádali v Ottavě. Tam prý plati dokonce zákon, že v neděli je zakázáno po Yong Street táhnout mrtvého koně. Zdali je to pravda nevím, ale zdali to pomáhá i proti syndromu mrtvého koně bych dost pochyboval.

Ps. Text jednotlivých bodů je s několika menšími modifikacemi přepsaný z české verze vtipu jejimž nejsem autorem a která je hrubým překladem verze anglické. Jakékoliv jiné podobnosti jsou čistě náhodné
 

15 lidí ohodnotilo tento článek.

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